


things we lost in the fire

by seekingsquake



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Can be read as friendship, Can be read as slash, Gen, M/M, Post Avengers Age of Ultron, pre Captain America:Civil War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 23:57:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5353157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekingsquake/pseuds/seekingsquake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it comes to Ross, Bruce can't compromise. No matter how much Tony might mean to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things we lost in the fire

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted to my tumblr.
> 
> All characters belong to Marvel; I don't own anything except the Hulk onesie I'm wearing for Halloween.
> 
> Please do not repost or reupload this piece anywhere without consent. If you ask, I'm sure we can work something out.

“It’s not that I think you’re wrong,” Bruce says as he twists his right pointer finger in the knotted fabric bracelet that’s tied around his left wrist, “Because I don’t. I think you’re right. I think the only way for superheroes as a, as a function to the public, can work safely and responsibly is if there’s some sort of monitoring system, some way to hold extraordinary people accountable for their actions the way regular law for regular people can’t.” He bows his head a little, his curls falling into his eyes. “But this isn’t about what I think. This is about what I know.”

Tony snorts as he dips two fingertips into his glass of water and then flicks the drops onto the tabletop. “And what is it you know?”

He knows that this isn’t a conversation that he wants to have with any of the so called Avengers, but he wants to have it with Tony least of all. But he doesn’t say that. Instead he says, “I  _know_  that this sort of thing can only work if you implicitly trust the people in charge of it. I  _know_  that that’s not something I’ll ever be capable of, no matter who they appoint for the task, or how many members are on the committee, or whatever. I  _know_  that when you give that sort of power to people who are inherently afraid, and they _are_ , Tony – they’re all scared of all of us and all the other people like us – shit gets real fucking bad real fucking fast.

“Ross has hunted me before, and he’s caught me, and he’s taken me apart. I’m afraid of what he would do if he got his hands on Steve, or on Thor. I’m afraid that we can never know if our government is the good guy or if there’s always going to be Hydra, or AIM, or something new to worry about. This sort of thing leaves all of us terribly vulnerable to the type of torture that Tasha went through, or Barnes.

“I  _know_  that you want to keep people safe, Tony, I do. I get that and I love that about you, and you’re right. The Accords, or any other sort of registration system, will keep civilians safe. But who’s keeping _us_  safe? Who’s keeping the people monitoring  _us_  in check? My whole life all I’ve ever wanted was to be in charge of myself. To get to decide who puts their hands on me and how, to be able to decide what to eat and when to eat it, to be able to move freely and without fear through my life like a fucking normal person. I didn’t have that as a child, I haven’t had that since Hulk exploded out of me, and I’m terrified that if this goes through, I’ll never even have a shot at having that ever again.

“This is about who we are, this is about our bodies and our brains and our ability to be autonomous beings. And you’re right, okay? We need to be held accountable. But… Damnit, Tony, _Ross_  is in charge of this! Ross, who wants to cut me open and bleed me out and poison people with my blood, who wants to lock me up and make me his pet lab rat. Okay? I don’t trust him with me, I don’t trust him with Steve, I don’t trust him with _you_. I don’t trust him to care about any of us, or any people like us, and I don’t even trust him to care about regular people!”

Bruce is shaking, and his voice is raspy with emotion, and Tony’s never heard him talk so much. “Bruce, it’s not–,”

“This isn’t an ideal world where this can work, Tony,” Bruce interrupts, and now all he is is tired. “All we’d be doing is making a new demographic of people very afraid. And maybe it’s selfish, okay? Maybe all I know how to be at this point is selfish, but I’m sick of being afraid. I’m sick of wondering when someone else will finally have all control over who I am. Every day, I’m afraid that I’ll lose my body to Hulk forever, okay? That I’ll lose my freedom. Please don’t ask me to put myself in a position where I need to fear that from my government, too.”

“I’d protect you,” Tony insists, but it sounds weak even to his own ears.

“I’m on your side,” Bruce murmurs, leaning back so that his head is pressed into the back of the couch. “I’ll always be on your side, Tony. But I’m not on  _this_ side. I can’t sit here and tell you that you can count on me to have your back with this, because you can’t, because if this happens, if these laws go through, I’m gone.”

Tony closes his eyes. “So basically, I lose you no matter what.”

Bruce touches him gently, his fingers soft in the fine hair at the base of Tony’s skull. “I’ll be one of the first they try to neutralize, should they decide us heroes aren’t worth the trouble. I can’t let them have me, any part of me. And I love you, Tony. I love you, and you’re right, but it’s more complicated than that. And I won’t let anyone put me on any list, or take away from me any more than I’ve already lost.”

“You’ll lose me.”

He pulls his hand back, and the air between them is heavy with guilt, with regret. He doesn’t know if the words make it past his lips but he thinks he hears himself say, “I know.”


End file.
